Meaning of a MOTHER
‘Mother’ sounds like a single word, but it carries a deeper meaning and a huge responsibility. People say that heaven is under a mother’s feet! A mother bearing the pain of her life brings a life into the world. She carries her child for 9 months and nurtures him from inside only until she holds him in her arms. For a mother, holding her child for the 1st time is like winning over the world. She feels she has won everything in life. For her, now her child is her only world. All her loved ones and well-wishers surround her, yet she feels ALONE. She feels that she is emotionally isolated after childbirth. She feels that her world will now be limited to her child. She is the one who goes through all the emotional and physical changes in herself; she feels heavy some days, as if she were in motherhood.
She is loved and praised by all her loved ones, yet she feels lonely in motherhood. She starts to overthink small, small things. She tries to be happy in front of everyone for her child’s sake, but deep down she carries an invisible emotional load she is eager to shed, yet feels she has no one to share it with.
Sounds weird, but this is the painful reality of lonely motherhood.
Feeling emotionally isolated after childbirth is more common nowadays.
A woman is never prepared for the emotional isolation that she suffers after childbirth. Everyone around her is busy celebrating the arrival of a newborn, but they fail to understand the mother. For her, a journey from woman to mother is not easy. She needs time to adjust to her new role. She feels changes in her body; her hormones are fluctuating, her sleep disappears, and these changes happen overnight. Her entire identity is shifted within a few seconds.
Everyone is happy to see, hold, and admire the baby, but in the back, the mother is suppressing her emotions, which no one notices.
There are days when she feels emotionally exhausted and completely blank, as she herself does not know what is happening to her. Some days her heart feels heavy for no reason. Some days she will pretend she is happy and smiling for everyone, but deep inside, that new transition mother is crying out loud. That is the harsh reality of postpartum loneliness and emotional isolation.
Although her loved ones praise her for being a very good mother, she still feels alone and emotionally disconnected, unseen by everyone. She carries the emotional burden that even words fail to explain.
Mother carries every day an invisible emotional load.
A mother carries her emotional load every day, which only becomes heavier with time.
Motherhood is a game-changer for a woman. Before being a mother, she is a woman with dreams, a career, goals, a bucket list she is looking to complete, hobbies, and, most importantly, her personal freedom. But after being a mother, her whole world revolves around those tiny fingers. She dedicates herself fully to nurturing her child, from giving him love to feeding him, comforting him, and protecting him. Her mind is constantly worrying about her child and her upbringing.
She does all this with a big heart and a smile on her face, and in the process, she starts to lose pieces of herself.
This phase is the start of emotional childbirth.
As a mother, she starts overthinking how to raise her own child. She constantly worries about whether her baby is being properly fed, whether he is properly sleeping, whether he is growing as per his age, or why he is crying too much. The smallest thing that bothers her baby starts troubling her mind. She blames herself if the baby falls sick, or she will consider herself a bad mother if her baby doesn’t stop crying.
She feels she is being pressured to be a “perfect mother”, which silently kills her peace.
Mother is a silent sufferer.
She smiles; she appears happy for her child’s sake, but deep down, she is holding back tears, afraid that everyone will misunderstand her as weak or ungrateful.
She is waiting for someone to whom she can vent. She wants someone to sit with her and listen to her, without judging her, comparing her to other mothers, or giving her advice. She wants to be heard.
As a mother, she is craving emotional support. She needs a shoulder to cry on.
But unfortunately, society misunderstands mothers. Instead of encouraging her, they start criticizing her and spouting their opinions. Some comments like she is not feeding the child properly, she is holding her child too much, she is not paying enough attention to her family, she is not grateful for what she has, and the biggest and most hurtful comment is she is being too emotional.
People feel these comments are nothing to be heard or worried about, but for a mother who is in her emotionally vulnerable state, they feel deeply hurtful.
Such talks and criticism slowly pile up inside her heart.
Building Postpartum Loneliness
The major reason why postpartum loneliness has become common nowadays is that a mother is expected to sacrifice everything naturally without complaining.
People expect a woman to adjust to the biggest transition of her life into motherhood immediately. For them, it seems to be the easiest job. But the harsh truth is that a woman’s transition into motherhood is the most emotionally challenging.
A woman does not only give birth; she gives birth to herself; she is reborn. Her body feels major changes, her emotions are changing, overnight her priorities change, her relationship with herself changes, her sleep pattern changes, and there is a major change in her lifestyle; for her, everything changes.
And some people, out of nowhere, ask her how she is managing her emotional side.
Transformation Journey from Woman to Mother
For a woman, becoming a mother is the most amazing and beautiful phase of her life. She is overwhelmed when she is known as a mother. For a mother, it is time-consuming. transition to adjust herself to her new life. She is seeking emotional support, warmth, and reassurance that everything will be okay during this transition.
But it is the other way round. Instead of warmth and comfort, she receives people’s expectations of her as a mother.
People should understand that a mother needs pampering, too.
When the baby enters the world, everyone is overwhelmed to see him, endure him, love him, shower him with gifts, and give him all the love, care, and attention. But a mother who has carried the baby for 9 months, who has endured the labor pain, and most importantly, who has sacrificed her physical and mental strength, is ignored and unattended.
A mother is also waiting to be nurtured; she needs rest, she needs to be understood, and she needs to be appreciated for doing her job well. The most important thing she needs is to be heard.
Postpartum Depression and Emotional Isolation Go Together
Many mothers are silently suffering from postpartum depression, not because they are alone physically, but because, despite having so many people around, they are not heard. The emotions she carries have been bottled up for quite some time. Responsibilities, a baby crying, household chores, and work always surround her.
But what most people fail to understand is that emotional loneliness hits differently. This feeling often comes when she is misunderstood; she feels she is not getting enough, or any, emotional support. The silent pain she carries goes unnoticed by everyone.
There is a huge emotional load that a mother carries every day, unnoticed by everyone. She needs, or rather is compelled to remember, the feeding schedules, doctor appointments, medicines, school plans, sleeping patterns, being available emotionally when her baby needs her, household duties, and people’s expectations.
Her mind is constantly revolving around these things. She might be physically resting, but mentally, she never rests.
And yet her emotional side is always unnoticed.
Influence of Social Media on Being a Perfect Mother
People often misjudge a smiling mother as a perfect mother, but what they fail to see is the sleepless nights, her anxiety, her being emotionally exhausted, and wiping away her tears quietly in silence. This is the reason in today’s world, lonely motherhood has become such a serious emotional issue.
The influence of social media, which shows a perfect mother happily managing her perfect homes, routines, and babies, creates unrealistic expectations for a struggling mother who, after seeing this, feels even more isolated. She starts to question herself about being a mother; she feels as if she is the one finding motherhood so difficult, the only one feeling emotionally drained, and the only one who is not happy. These thoughts often let a mother sink into the pit of postpartum depression. The bitter truth is that all mothers face these issues, yet they are afraid to speak openly about them.
A mother also needs emotional support.
Being given birth to a child and expecting emotional support does not make a mother look like she loves her child less or that she is needy. In simple terms, it means she is also a HUMAN.
In the process of giving so much, a mother tends to forget she has her own heart to take care of.
This is the reason a mother needs emotional support. She does not need the solution every time; she needs appreciation and reassurance that whatever she is doing is enough. She wants to hear she is a good mother rather than hear criticism.
A mother’s instincts for her child are always correct. She knows her child better than anyone else in the world. Her love, her emotions, and her sacrifice towards her child cannot be measured. She deserves to be respected. She deserves everyone’s kindness; she deserves patience, and, most importantly, she deserves to be cared for. The most important thing she needs is emotional support throughout her motherhood journey.
Nowadays, mothers leave behind their careers, goals, ambitions, and dreams for their child so that their child can have a successful future. She gives everything, whether it’s emotional, physical, or mental. They give everything to their children. But while raising their children, they want someone by their side to hold them emotionally. No matter how strong a mother is, she gets tired. Even if a mother seems happy, she has cried in silence. The most loving mother can also feel lonely.
The meaning of motherhood is protecting the emotional well-being of a mother who has transitioned from being a woman, not just raising the child. The society needs to understand that mothers need to be heard, understood, and supported.
Behind every strong child is a mother who has silently fought an unnoticed emotional battle.